On the Triumphs and Defeats of Teaching English

As noted in the previous entry, this month has really been dominated by work - teaching English classes and conducting group interviews in English of first- and third-year university students. Some of these interviews get very repetitive (the first-year ones were all about studying abroad until recently when the groups began their second interviews) and, thus, very boring and uninteresting. Sometimes, we have to find amusement wherever we can and to that end, we'd like to share with you some of the more amusing examples of bad English that our students have written. We would also like to share with you our commentary. This is written/compiled by both of us.


From an essay written by Aaron's first-year law students on the differences between American/British universities and French ones:

• “I motivate to go and study in American or British universities because I can learn speak english and for today it’s interessant to speak two languages for instance english and french,”
• Hopefully this person didn't mean that it's interesting to speak two languages at once, which is what it appears he's doing in this sentence. (AWW)

• “For exemple for entry at Harvard, first university in the world, you must paid 50,000 dollards.”
• The dollards, a form of currency perhaps used by the Lollards, a sect from the 1300s. (LSB)

• “They are many advantages to study in America; teachers are the best due to big salaries, campus is like a small town with climbing walls for example, technology is very impressive and the level in the most big universities can help students to find their futur job with best degrees.”
• My small town doesn't have a climbing wall. Also, I'd like to see that big salary and that job. (LSB)

• “Who never heard anything about Havard, Yale or Princeton? Nobody do not.”
• This just makes me giggle. Every time. (LSB)

• “American universities are the most prestigious universities although the world.”
• Although the world disagrees? Although the world does not understand them? So many possibilities... (LSB)

• “But this type of universities don’t enjoy me because if you have money, you can go in this universities, but if you haven’t money, you must work more and more to deserve to be in, moreover sometimes athletes who are performant have their places in this universities just to be the angular stone of sport’s coach of universities.”
• I've always liked angular stones. (LSB)
• Also, I didn't know that a college athlete can simultaneously be an angular stone and a coach. (AWW)

• “Some private universities like Harvard or Darthmout (Columbia, Princeton) are fees up $22,000 per year.”
• Apparently, it's not Dartmouth, but Darthmout. Perhaps it was founded by Darth Vader's lesser-known brother, Darth Mout. (AWW)

From Lisa's classes of business students after asking for their definitions of the "American Dream:"

• "Owning a big house in suburbs, a big car or a fast car, a blonde woman with huge fake nipples, and a home cinema, and a good lawyer."
• And I always thought it was only big cars that counted... (LSB)

• "The american dream is to have one wife, a house, two dogs, three kids, plenty of money, and being able to shout home sweet home when coming back after work. The newer version would be to be rich, popular, famous? But not including the house anymore. (Rock Star like)"
• Only one wife?  Man, I was hoping to have two. (LSB)

• "The famous version of the American Dream is to going from rats to riches."

• "Basically, the american dream is to reach the top, starting from scratches."

• "One version was to buy a house and to live inside with your family for a very long time."
• I can picture this one: "Hey Joe, look at this great house I just bought. My family and I live in a tent in the back yard, though." "Oh. Do you ever go inside the house?" "Yes, to use the bathroom, but we don't live inside it." "Wow, you're not living the American Dream." (AWW)

About Religion in America (from Lisa's business school students):

• "It was surprising for french student, for who God is not, most of the time, a source of hopping."
• For French students, and for many Americans, there is little difference between God and the Easter Bunny (or God and Santa Claus for that matter). (LSB)

• "It seems that God is a lot more powerful in the US than anywhere else, for, as I've seen it, he can help you not only for your life after death but also help your team wins a football game, and a bunch of other stuff (winning the election, kicking the mexicans out of this holy land)..."